**** Breaking News ****
NATO forces have been spotted practicing maneuvers for what most are expecting to be an epic clash when the two forces clash in the "Joint Strike" sector this Sunday. When asked by reporters why it appeared that the NATO forces were practicing the classic "fighting withdraw" maneuver, the unnamed general replied "Have you see how many tanks they have? Don't even get me started on their infantry...and the rockets..."
Reporters have tired to get a reply out of WARSAW PACT commanders but they are refusing to comment directly and explain the build-up of troops and material in the sector as "coincidental". One commander quipped "What? It's beautiful time of year to do camping. So I invite a ten thousand good soldiers friends to join me in woods. Big deal." He then went on for ten minutes slamming western media as pawns of their capitalistic overlord.
The surrounding towns and countryside is seeing a mass exodus as the residents know something is coming...and when it arrives, it will be big.
To counter the feeble Communist propaganda displayed earlier today, the spokesman of the NATO forces repeated that the commanders were in full control of the situation. Due to superior intelligence and logistics, NATO morale is high and troops prepared, as always, to repel any hostile act perpetrated by the Warsaw Pact troops doing "Logistics training" on the other side of the iron curtain.
The original quote included in their twisted communiqué was: "Have you see how many [leaking] tanks they have? Don't even get me started on their infantry... [Most of them soldiers are underfed, under trained conscripts, who have been given rusty bayonets without being told on what end it should be attached!] And the rockets... [Leaking everywhere... Wouldn't want to stay there after a battle, too damn slippery I say]"
. As you can see, the meaning was slightly altered by omitting crucial parts...
The spokesman also told the local populations to remain calm, and if they consider it needed, transports and accommodation will be offered to anyone willing to visit family or friends, as usual, in an ordered manner, but there was absolutely no need for panic or any fear to have in the immediate future.
"Picnic they said? Damn right, we'll help them with pushing up the daisies if they like" said a soldier arriving from the train station for "additional field training".
"Rocks are OP. Paper is fine" signed: Scissors